The Last Lullaby

By Benishan

It was a chilling dark night. I was feeling a bit cold and low, but luckily I had my mother to tuck me in the bed and pat my head. She was there singing my favourite lullaby. Lost in the melodious voice, don’t know when I slept. The next morning I woke up with the same love filled voice calling my name asking me to wake up and get ready for school. I was awake yet I chose to stay in bed for a while to tease her. She was there, standing right beside my bed, snatching the blanket I had. The tussle was fun but I lost and then she pulled me out of my bed. She took my hand and handed the toothbrush and seconds later she ran to the kitchen where my lunch box was being prepared. Slowly and gradually I finished brushing my teeth, though she was screaming to hurry up. I went to the bathroom to take a bath and as usual perfect warm water was already there. My mother precisely knew everything I wanted. She was my actual limbs. I would have never made it to school if she was not there. Anyways, I took bath and there I was calling her from bathroom, asking for the towel that I always forget to take along. She knows me and she had already put the towel inside. I came out wrapped in towel, shivering because of the cold, and in my trembling voice I called out Ammi.  She came rushing and wrapped her shawl around me. She asked whether my bag was set according to time table or not? Have I done my homework? Are my nails trimmed? Meanwhile, she applied oil on my body to moisten the dry skin. All I had to do was stand steady and in moments I was ready for school. She was super quick. As soon as she finished dressing me up, milk was handed over to me with instructions to finish it quickly. I don’t like milk but still I have to drink it. I was all set to leave when she came, hugged me and kissed my forehead. I don’t like when she wets my forehead, so I immediately rubbed that off. I said Allah Hafiz and left.

As I left, my friends joined me on the way to school. We were so lost in our talks, don’t know when we reached. The school was yet to start so after keeping our bags we went to the ground and started playing. The bell rang and we moved back to the class. We had a boring day ahead; we were asked stay quite as our seniors had their exams going on. Some students were celebrating something. Don’t know why we had to stay quiet and study. I wanted to go out and see what the celebration was for. The food that Ammi had packed smelt so nice. I wanted to see what was in the lunchbox. My attention was focussed on my lunchbox so I took a chance. Ammi had packed my favourite paratha, I took a bite and kept the box back. I turned to my friend to tell him what I just did. I was about to start when something happened.

It appeared as if someone had started bursting big crackers. There was so much noise, don’t know why teachers were not stopping them.  My teacher stepped out of the class to see what was happening and she rushed back into the class. She asked all of us to get into corner of the class and duck; don’t know why she was looking nervous. The sound of crackers was growing louder and now it was hurting my ears. The sound was continuously banging my head so I closed my ears with my hands. I don’t know what was happening but it was certainly scary. I wished it stopped. I was scared but my teacher said everything will be alright so I held myself. All of us were quite as we were supposed to be. Our teacher was quite too. She didn’t even move from that corner.  Everyone’s face was telling they didn’t know what was happening.

In a matter of few minutes an unknown person came inside. He slammed the door and he was carrying a gun. He was loaded with a big bag. Before we could understand anything he opened fire. In next 5 minutes everything changed upside down. The quietness of our classroom was replaced with cries and screams. One of the bullets had hit me. The pain was unbearable and unimaginable. I was unable to stay in my senses. My eyes were closing and I was unable to hold on to my tears. It was paining so much that I put the tie in my mouth. I don’t know for how long that pain stayed.  I was losing my strength to shout or cry. After a while another unknown person with gun came inside. He said he was from army and he would help us. Our teacher didn’t respond to him. She was dead. As the army man started to evacuate us I was unable to stand and move. He, along with his friends, took me up on his shoulder and carried me outside. As we started to move I saw my friends lying on the floor, soaked in blood. There were people from other classes too; all of them were lying in the corridor. They were dead.

Am I dead too? Why is it paining so much? Would this hustle and panic end? All these questions were scaring me. I was unable to see anything clearly. I was unable to hear anything clearly. I was constantly being moved. I don’t know where I was.

It was chilling and getting darker. I was feeling cold and low, but Ammi wasn’t there to comfort me. I wish she patted my head once. I wish I could hear the lullaby. I wish I had her. In that hustle and noise of hospital I was wishing her to sooth me with her presence. I wanted her to sit beside me. In my mind, I could now hear her singing the lullaby in her melodious voice. Don’t know how all the pain vanished. I am dead.

As I rest in heaven, I feel nothing yet something heavy is in there. I have my friends here but I miss Ammi when I get lonely. I slept on that hospital bed for the last time. Ammi’s voice was no longer there to wake me up. Even if I wanted I would never be able to tease her. She would never dress me up in this uniform. She would never make me drink milk that I liked because she forced me. She would never sing a lullaby for me. She precisely knew everything I wanted but I don’t know how to console her. Her soul would remain drenched in grief, forever.

I don’t know why all this happened. I don’t know I was killed. I don’t know things and thus I was in school. I was there to learn how beautiful this world is. I was there to know how I can be a good human. I was there to know things that would help me to groom and work for my country. I was shot by a person whom I don’t know. I was shot for a reason that I don’t know.  People here say it was in the name of religion. It makes me think. I was killed in the name of religion by a person who misunderstood religion? I was killed for revenge and I paid for someone’s lack of understanding. Basically, I was killed for no reason. Now, at least I know this. I know that the person who shot me was bad and there are many of his kind. I know that they are barbaric and the concept of humanity is as a far flung idea for them. I know they are supposed to be punished. But I wish it never happened in the first place. I wish this mess cleans up. I wish this world becomes a better place.